You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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