Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dignity is for republicans.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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