I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
