have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
