my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
