There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
