I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
