Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
