Small penises have feelings too.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
