i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
