I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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