ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
