how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
