i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
