Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
