Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
