I'm really into asian looking animals
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
