Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
