Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
