he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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