You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You took a bar mat shot.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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