I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
