So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
