that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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