bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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