i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
