ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
