nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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