I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
