Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
