I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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