omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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