You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
