Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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