I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
