Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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