The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
