he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
