dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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