dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
