Im at strip club and am horny
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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