no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
