Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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