they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
