God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
