you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
