i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
