when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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