The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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