are you so shy because you have an std?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
