i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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