God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
