TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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