PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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