Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
