Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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